One of my favourite people I have met lately is also one of my favourite photographers. Jessica Rae really knows how to capture the essence in people. I love that she was able to show that I do, in fact, have a softer side. I was really taken back when she sent me these photos. I am usually really hard on myself and my own worst critic. However, with these photos I can finally see some of the things in myself others happen to see. It's actually nice to be able to see yourself from another person's point of view.
The Mystery and The Story
Decided to take it back to basics in this shot. Fought back and forth about editing out the fly aways on her face. Clearly decided to keep them in. I got asked why I picked this shot out of all of them and it got me thinking...
Why did I choose this one? Why did I keep the fly aways and why did I edit it the way I did?
It came down to this, I picked this frame out because I love her eyes. I love how it told a story yet held so much mystery. It showed the beauty in her soul but left the unsettling feeling like she had a dark past. I kept the fly aways and did minimal editing because I felt it added imperfection in the right way. Our imperfections and flaws are what make us beautiful. They are what make us interesting.
Why do you edit the way you do? What makes you pick out a certain shot?
The Real Recognize Real
I have never really had someone draw pictures of me and when I received these I was kind of taken back. Trenton Farrar has such a unique take on things and I love the feel you get when you look at his art. I am always more curious about the darker side of life and I really love the direction he went with his drawings. He has some talent that is for sure.
Ferry Ride
I'm currently on the ferry headed to Nanaimo and could not have asked for better weather. I already feel like this trip was the right idea. I'm at peace, it's super relaxing. The combination of the wind blowing across my face and the sound of the waves brushing up against the vessel, it's perfection in one pure moment. In such serenity it gives myself the time to think. Reflecting back on the past few months and how amazing 2015 has been for me thus far, I can only imagine what the future has in store. I'm ready to conquer the hardships and celebrate the achievements. I'm even more so excited for the new people I will meet along the way.
The Island
Photo by Tyler Branston
Tomorrow I will be going over to the island and I will be visiting Nanaimo, Coombs, and Tofino. Though it is only a mini trip that is from Saturday until Tuesday, it's my first little "vacation" in a long time. The main reason I was going over to the island was to go to Nanaimo to model but my best friend suggested we go out and explore. I'm pretty excited to get to see the beauty the island has to offer and capture that on film. Ready to just take a step back and get inspired. I will be posting some of the photos we take throughout our trip. The last time we went exploring, Tyler manage to capture this surreal photo of me (posted above).
First Publication
When I first set out to actually move myself to being in front of the lens and model, I told myself I wanted to aim for submission. With the intent to be in a magazine but never actually believing it would ever become something I could call reality. Well, first shoot I did after setting this goal and I achieved it. I went to an amazing photographer I admired and sent her over a PDF of the concept, location, and wardrobe. I could never and will never take full credit for this achievement. Without the wonderful efforts of the team we had in place it wouldn't have happened. I believe, in any form of art, when working together, everyone should have an input and that is when the best things are created. Which has been clearly proven with this shoot. I have no intent to stop just at this publication. This is only going to push me harder. Special thanks to Jessica Rae, Sana Nurani, and Doreen Fong. <3
The Burden and The Light
A lot of you may not be aware of this but I have battled depression for a good part of my life and still do. This year is the first time I have ever been open about it to my family and some really close friends. And with that said, I have kept the majority of it to myself still. Baby steps is really the only thing I can do. As I type these words I wonder if I will regret posting this. However, the way I look at it is there are other people out there like me, scared. I haven’t shared the depths of my depression with my loved ones but I have shared a lot. The only things I have learned so far is that people are willing to help and they are dying to be there for you. People with depression usually see themselves as a burden on others, so we have a hard time asking for the help we need. I could continue typing about this but instead I decided to take a few self portraits relating to this topic. Please don’t take this post as me crying out for help or anything like that. I am posting it so people who happen to be in my situation have the courage to speak up. You are worth it and someone cares about you more than you will ever be able to understand.